Khushboo Madhusudan Gaur

Respect and support are two major elements of any successful relationship.  When you start a new life with your partner you need to understand a few ground realities.  Your upbringing and his/her upbringing aren’t the same.  If you want him/her to change, it is okay to change for them as well.  It is okay if their likings and dislikings are not the same as yours.  It is normal for them to take time to understand a few of your habits and it is vice versa.  Just because their opinion and habits are DIFFERENT it does not mean they are WRONG. It is okay to have a difference in opinions. All they seek is your appreciation. And therefore, respecting their point of you becomes your utmost priority. Arguments are normal, and so is understanding their concerns and issues. Whatever they say, must be considered seriously and with all attention, without any presumption or quick judgment.  Just because your friend went through a similar situation and did a certain thing to solve the issue does

Train your brain  To unlearn old and learn new habits Distractions are inevitable, how you spend your time is under your control, you have to see what is important and needed in life and what is a relative waste of time. Stop being a technology slave and start controlling your time, maintain self-discipline, and practice a doer attitude !!  No one will either wait for you or motivate you as much as you can do to yourself. Don't sit and look at your goal for too long, just get up and do it!! whatever that you are procrastinating for too long, whatever that is there in your mind for many many days and weeks and months now, stop thinking too much about it, stop giving excuses, what will people say, what if I will fail, what if people will not like me, I don't have the courage , whatever your limiting belief is, stop it then and there, get up and do it!! finish it!! finish a part of it, take baby steps, but don't stop. Write your goals and display them. Set up your day a night

Equality  यूँ तो हमने कई वादे किए थे खुद से, दूसरों से क्या ही उम्मीद करें, जब खुद से किये वादे ही निभा ना पाएं? कह दिया, "उन्होने हमारे लिये अवाज नही उठायी", दुनिया जब हमारे खिलाफ थी, हम भी कहां खुद के लिये खडे हो पाये? जब वो बदले, तो हमने कहा, "देखो वक़्त के साथ कितने बदल गये हैं।" जब हम बदले तो हमने भी कह के पल्ला झाड़ा "देखो वक़्त ही कित्ना बदल सा गया है", कोंन है जो ये फर्क़ ला रहा है? वक़्त ऐसा भी था, जब हम अकेले भी थे, जो आज साथ हैं, वो तब दूर ही थे। गुस्से में हमने भी कहा था, "अकेले लडेंगे, पर आपको ज़रूरत पड़ेगी तब खडे रहेंगे। जो हमारे साथ हुआ वो नही दोहराएंगे। पर जब वक़्त आया, रिश्ता क्या था? तो जैसे मानो भूल गये हो। जमाना, परिवार, दुनिया, और वो चार लोग, ना जाने कहां से बीच मेँ आ गये थे! खैर, मुद्दा तो तब शुरु होता है, जब उन्हे ज़रूरत थी, तो हाथ थाम लिया, नही थी, तो छोड दिया, ये कह के हमने भी उनसे रिश्ता तोड़ लिया! पर अगर बच्चे होते तो क्या ये रिश्ता हम तोड पाते? वही रिश्ते फिर क्यूं सह के भी निभा रहे होते? क्यूं तब रिश्ता तोड़ के दुनिया

This quarantine taught me something I left behind and kept on moving for 13 months, forgetting the fact, that moving at the same pace becomes tiresome, and to bring creativity, the pace needs some change now and then. I was sitting and planning for what to do next, and I've no idea which day was it! because I've lost track of time, don’t blame me! the days are too monotonous, even while I'm constantly doing something or the other, where people are busy making, sharing, laughing and resharing the memes that they are completely idle, believe me, I wasn't!! Contrary to this, I was constantly working on something or the other, from morning 5:30 (yes, indeed) till 3 am (yes, sure), which included, household chores, work from home hours, Ph.D., a nice, relaxing afternoon nap, binge-watching shows on every possible platform, walk, cooking, workout, and rest of the time was my fiancé’s and why shouldn't it be? especially when it was soothing and content, of co

Life is always going to be more difficult, uneasy and complicated. Surprisingly, that's how life is not only for you, you aren't special, but for everyone on earth. You'll always be judged, no matter what and where you start and where you end up because there's a simple rule that the universe follows; Entropy. Entropy explains why life always seems to get complicated each day, Murphy's law states: Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong and entropy explains it as.. Life has a tendency to destroy things and relations and make life as difficult as it can. 1) Don't drive your car for a couple of months, you won't be able to drive it any longer without charging its battery. 2) Resist saying I love you, or bring flowers or doing anything special for your wife or girlfriend, you know what's gonna happen next, and so the things would be the other way round. 3) the pieces of a puzzle will never fall to create a perfect puzzle. 4) your sandcas

This too shall pass!!  There’s no tear, there’s no emotion!! There’s no guilt!! Nor any blame game!  For somehow, I knew this, in some way or the other, I was preparing myself to welcome the change! Somehow, I was aware, someday this would turn out to be an uneventful end! Cribbing! Crying! Tantrums! Tears and lost energy!! Are easier to fetch!! Somehow, I know how to pack it all and name it “trash”! And that would make my emotions and feelings feel sublime! Since when caring for self, and being selfish became a crime? I wish to drift my energy where my universe would lead! That’s somehow is one side of the story, because the other says… That I will never miss you! Because you’re still there, in my mind, in my soul, so alive! That I feel the presence around all the time! My emotions are real! My feelings are prolonged and my love is unconditional, absolute, unrestricted and selfless!! Which I failed to impress!!  And even after all this, I wish to sway, to the land far away, with the w

There you go!! We take up a new job!! We leave!! We crib!! We argue!! We break up!! We stay!! We suffer!! We fall into guilt!! and pressure of being into things we never wanted to fall for. "Why me?" comes when we fail to answer "Why are we into this", it is important we pay attention to what we are doing and why we are doing before it is too late. It is important to know, WHY are you falling for certain things, certain stuff, certain people and certain places, even more important, WHY are you rejecting others? To make it simpler, I rejected A for B not because I love B more, but because I can't keep up with A... and that's traumatizing!! You need to know why you love B more, you need to know how B inspires you!! rejection of one is never a base for other selections!  WHY do you wish to switch your career, are you achieving the results, the salary, the satisfaction and the motivation for which you switched on the first place?? Your understanding of WHY simpl

RESET! RESTART! REWORK! WIN IT!!  Yet another fussy morning, where I am caught in the vicious circle right in the morning, woke up late!! No light!! Couldn’t shower because “andhere mein to darr lagta hai” and the series followed by other drastic events and above all the show stopper for the day was this beautiful blue and charcoal Grey Silk Cotton Solid Saree with a Zari border!! Which isn’t ready to be draped around at all!! Just because it is new it has got all the rights to annoy!! YES!! This long description was of utmost significance because I am the kind of person when I get frustrated, I write a 200-word letter and 5 pages and remember the tiniest detail of all the events right from the 90s to 2019 and probably I might include future projections as well!! Saree carries an air of attitude, but what if it gives you back one?? Draping saree this morning was exactly like having it!! For 23 minutes to be precise, after creasing it out at 20 different places from tuck

#Guestpost by Mr. Sunveer Singh Bhambra ...and there's a mail again, and a call, and a mailer again!! oh there are orders to attend another workshop on leadership... with a usual message to bore us all... isn't it? "There's a Leadership Workshop planned for all of You, plz attend", " Become a better Leader", "Yes, you can, too, become a leader", so on and so forth, Every now and then, we keep hearing about Training Workshops on Leadership and how to be a successful leader, but seldom, is anyone concerned about being a "Team" member first. What do Leaders do? They lead and command with example and a display of what they want. To lead, one must first learn who will they lead and what will be the purpose? and to know the answers to these questions, one must be 'one' first. I wonder what a team member must be, giving it further thoughts, I could zero down my factors as: A team member must: 1) Know how to trust people around 2) Ha

Whats' your Priority? Despite the fact that it keeps changing with time!   Call it some societal pressure; or call it her upbringing, perfection is expected from every sphere of her life, given any amount of stress or pressure, she must "know it all" is a wonderful presumption and as she ages perfection becomes synonym to her name... these expectations put more pressure on her to balance everything that she holds in her kitty.  Oh No! I am not a feminist, I would rather prefer to stand against "fake feminism".  Because I agree with no shame and guilt that men handle the same, probably the more pressure to be a perfect son, a perfect partner,  a perfect husband, and a perfect father, and it is understood so well, that the things are changing, new notions are building, perceptions are improving, point of views are being accepted yet what remains constant is a  question.. "ladki hai, kar legi?"  All We want is to ensure that "ladki hai,

Do What You Believe is Right!! Not What They Choose to Say... Should I hide the fact that I over think? Is it disgraceful to unveil that I can sit for hours and allow my brain to think endlessly...possibly, the answer would have been a YES if it had been written somewhere before 2016. But fortunately, this is 2019, and I no more carry that guilt. When I over-think I beat my own score and I become my own competition, to be honest, the event isn't really new, it’s been a while that I sit and think of things beyond my control and figure out reasons as to why have I been experiencing them? So I did what majority of the people do... I consulted few other people considering them the most knowledgeable around me, who confidently like real doctorate degree holders into over-thinking told me that this might lead to stress and sleeplessness and anxiety and they prescribed every possible remedy to help me come out of it, surprisingly the closest friends (of that time, you'll soon know why

Start Acting!! Recently, I heard something strange “yet again”, it's already been thousands of times, however, this time it made an impact and forced me to give it a stern contemplation so here I am, “The time wasn't good”, they said, without a subsequent thought I abruptly said, “Yeah happens! Sometimes, it’s just not our day” just when I finished my sentence, I realized how easily we blame time for our bad decision making, wrong judgments, procrastination and zero hard work, don't we?  Slowly it is becoming a kind act of self-counseling, telling ourselves that we are always the best at everything, it is time that has gone wrong, it is our destiny that just doesn’t work, it hurts me, even more, when people dwell on their past without realizing they are actually obliterating their present. Leisure was written by W.H. Davies in 1911 and it was then that he showed the present reality, how busy we are and what all are we missing on... Well, coming back to the point, when we sa

"Life will not postpone our death; so let us not postpone our life!"                   ~Unposted Letter It was 11 th July 2018 when I was sitting and randomly flipping the pages of this book called Unposted Letter, to understand what this book is about, but I ended up indulging in what is “Love at first sight”. I read it on somewhere, “… When we all do strange and new or unlikely things together, then slowly these rituals and these things become normal and a part of life. ” For instance, the purdah system, the women going out and working for a living, the birthday of a girl child being celebrated, women wearing jeans, men doing household jobs, and a lot… So now that we know, we together have the power to bring in the change, it is imperative for each one of us to unite to bring in the said changes. Okay, so why am I discussing so much about the changes that we necessitate and unity?? Because this is something that caught my eye. According to data sourced from the National Cr