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Do I need to support my partner’s decisions?

Respect and support are two major elements of any successful relationship. 

When you start a new life with your partner you need to understand a few ground realities. 

  1. Your upbringing and his/her upbringing aren’t the same. 
  2. If you want him/her to change, it is okay to change for them as well. 
  3. It is okay if their likings and dislikings are not the same as yours. 
  4. It is normal for them to take time to understand a few of your habits and it is vice versa. 
  5. Just because their opinion and habits are DIFFERENT it does not mean they are WRONG. It is okay to have a difference in opinions. All they seek is your appreciation.

And therefore, respecting their point of you becomes your utmost priority. Arguments are normal, and so is understanding their concerns and issues. Whatever they say, must be considered seriously and with all attention, without any presumption or quick judgment. 


Just because your friend went through a similar situation and did a certain thing to solve the issue does not mean that will work for you as well, the situations are definitely the same, how we deal makes the difference because no two people and their habits and perceptions can be compared. 

A few reasons to respect your partner: However, there are infinite, but sharing a few here…


#1 If you will not respect your partner no one else will ever respect them, their presence in the family is decided on the basis of how you respect their culture, their family, likes, and opinions. When you keep on finding faults, you open the doors for others to peep in and pick reasons to disrespect them, which eventually affects your chemistry with your partner.


#2 It is vice versa, if we devalue our partner’s choices, decisions, opinions, the other people in family and friends will also start with the same, which in due course will affect your relationship.


#3 Over the period of time, it is natural to take our partner and their opinions for granted, because obviously, you are living together 24*7 now, this is one of the reasons why 10 years of a happy and fulfilling life in a relationship breaks down in 10 months of married life. On the contrary, if we understand the law of entropy from the mental model point of view, it tells us about the natural tendency of things to fall apart. If our intention is to keep things and relationships in order we need more and continuous efforts. Respecting your partner and their decisions helps us keep any relationship new forever. 


#4 We enter into any relationship because we loved the person as they are, not with an intention to enter into a relationship make the person better, and then think of living with them forever, it doesn’t work this way. Respect means, accepting the person as they are, and living your life the way you were living, changing a few habits out of love, and this is vice versa, if the person truly respects you and your choices, he/she will change their old habits to make you feel at ease and also try to not compromise but learn to adjust with each other and all of this takes time, do not expect everything to fall in place suddenly. Stop blaming, and complaining later about the things you first adored. Toppled with love, respect serves as the fuel to keep any relationship moving.


#5 It is important to realize that neither of you is perfect, however difficult but keeping patience is the secret ingredient to any happy relationship, when in conflict one must not put words to thoughts such as, it is me who invested a lot, I must not expect anything, you never care. Think of the good times, have patience, understand your partner's psyche, emotional turmoil, his/her condition at the workplace, and the responsibilities on their shoulders. Even if you argue over any unexpected situation, bring down your ego, be ready to apologize and take the initiative to learn from the situation, and make efforts to not let such a situation repeat. Love is patient. And it is respect that teaches you how to be patient.


#6 With your actions and words you must never make any irreparable damage that only causes your relationship to collapse. You must be aware of the repercussions of everything you do and every word you say. Making someone feel special and not expecting in return is difficult but correcting your intentions is not impossible. Doing something because you feel like doing it, not because you expect similar behavior in return, will give you more happiness and fulfillment. You should be more concerned about how you two should grow not only as a couple but as individuals who have decided to stick together through thick and thin.


#7 Lastly, respect breeds pure love, love beyond physical attraction. Respect creates better understanding, trust, and willingness to hold on to each other. Respect brings each other closer even after tons of arguments and conflicts. Every relationship has its ups and downs, adventures and boring hours, and even moments when you just want to give up. But with respect being the most significant thing in your relationship, it would then be much easier to face life’s challenges. 

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Comments

  1. Truly defined. The only thing is every partner needs to understand that with keeping Ego will only ruin the relationship..

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